Mom's Reflections: One Year

One year later for mommy....

I rock Emily for the second time to put her to sleep tonight and several things catch my attention.

I always sing "Jesus Loves Me" as her lullaby. It crosses my mind that I sing this song about me and not Emily about her. Jesus loves me and I know it's true because I believe the Bible to be God's Word and it says that it is true. Emily belongs to Jesus because she is little and weak and He is strong enough to care for us all. Jesus must love me to trust me with a precious thing like her.

I look down at her little sleeping face and think, "wow, this time last year, we were getting ready for sleep at the hospital because my induction was scheduled for the morning. She's gotten so big." My arms can barely hold her up without my locking them together. Her little legs dangle past my waist and the top of her head goes over my shoulder.

I pace around a little listening to the praise songs we had loaded on my ipod to help her sleep.

I look up at the wall that is decorated with various animal cutouts. They were used at Emily's baby shower at CCC. A zebra, lion, elephant, two turtles, a snail, monkey and a giraffe. It warms my heart to think of the ladies that planned it, the many it took to setup, all the attendees, and even better, everyone who has given Emily a wonderful extended family.

Then I see again the mobile that hangs over Emily's bed. We had taken it down once upon a time because she was tall enough to pull on it. However, it really upset her NOT to have something to look at that sent her off to naptime during the day, so back up it went. She can now push the buttons herself. She prefers Beethoven over Bach. It was from Uncle Ray. Who, if you didn't know better, will be known in the future as her rich uncle from his unbridled generosity.

I see the crib and the bassinet. As I'm writing, I think about the changing table, the books, her clothes, diapers, swing, her mattress and it's box, toys, and the mess that her things create and think..."My God. Thank you for these blessings."